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| Father's Day,
In lieu of Father's day I did what many people did: celebrated with their fathers. Except I couldn't be with my father. So I did the next best thing: I went to Boston Chicken. After grade school my dad would pick my sister and me up and because no one had time to cook at home we ate chicken and corn bread. A LOT OF CHICKEN AND CORNBREAD! I LOOOVE cornbread especially when you dip it in some mashed potatoes and gravy and corn. Now that I'm older I choose the steamed vegetables instead of the macaroni and cheese, but essentially its the same meal. And I indulge myself in the skin and I tell myself its ok because its not fried: it's rotisserie! The aroma and taste brings me back to those times. My dad has always been a cool dad. He was always down to play football and volleyball with my friends and me, we would chill and drink beer and watch Broncos games together, fart and burp and do the whole manly thing together. He was lenient in many of the small things in life but also knew where to draw strict boundries in things he truly believed in. For these boundries I know now that I am truly lucky. He is really the strongest man that I know, enduring anything, sacrificing everything for his children's sake. He is the flag that flies quietly on the hilltop, a calm and quiet symbol of strength in our family. Thanks dad for the Boston Chicken and everything else.
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| It was a typical call night for me. I was sitting calmly writing my progress notes for the day. My senior told me I had an admission in the ED. I didn't know anything about the patient except for the fact the she was recently diagnosed with metastatic cancer to brain liver and spleen most likely from lung ca. I was told she was sick and that she was coming to my floor so I decided to take a look at her labs. It was not pretty. Hurriedly I rushed down into the ER where she was coming from. I looked at her and my bladder spasmed. How am I going to save her? I asked her if she wanted CPR if heart heart gave out on her. She said absolutely not. I asked her if she wanted a ventilator if she couldn't breath on her own. Again she said no. I said that we needed to talk about what kind of things she wanted done in order to help her. She said tiredly, "Let's talk about it tomorrow." I said "OK I'll see you upstairs. I went back upstairs and waited for her to come up. She never arrived. She died in the elevator. She was helpless, I was helpless for her. At this job you would think that I'm supposed to be in control, but in truth, so many times everything is out of control. To sit and watch someone die in front of you, to be the last sight they ever see in this world, has to be one of the most humbling experiences ever. I am not a doctor at that point. I'm just another human being. And you learn that being a good doctor isn't always about doing everything you can; sometimes its about doing nothing at all.
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| I love rooting for the underdog. I have no idea why but it just seems like the right thing to do. If I turn on a game midway through the game, it doesn't matter who the teams are. I just cheer for the team that is losing. It's awesome to see a comeback though realistically most of the time it doesn't happen like that. Most of the time you end up in heartbreak. Isn't that right? That's why I love cheering for the Nuggets. However, yesterday the Nuggets were a different team. They played with no sense of urgency, like they didn't want it anymore. I couldn't bear to watch the whole thing I had to turn it off. I went on a sushi binge and ate until I couldn't breath. That helped. I think all of us love the story of the underdog. It's a common motif isn't it? I love the story of the nerd that gets the girl. It guess it doesn't happen all too often but it does happen. NERD POWER! I love the spring/summer time. Just the smell of it transports you into a million different moments of life. Your mood is automatically lifted when the sun is out. I think about those hot summer days at Elitch garden's chasing girls and hanging with the homies. And life CAN be that simple again, if you just let it be. Lately I've been really enjoying it. Sitting around eating shave ice, those tiny crystals melt your stresses away. The warmth of the sun blankets you. I sit around listening to music. I put some corn on the cob on my grill I just bought and the crisp burning smell wafts in the air. It shouldn't smell good, but burning vegetation usually does smell unusually good. I blast the music and dance in my backyard. Those are some of the greatest moments.
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